Red Dirt Diaries
Thursday, September 04, 2008
Wednesday, September 03, 2008
25 REASONS I OWE MY MOTHER
1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE: If you're going to kill each other, do it outside.I just finished cleaning.'
2. My mother taught me RELIGION: 'You better pray that will come out of the carpet.'
3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL : 'If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!'
4. My mother taught me LOGIC: Because I said so, that's why.'
5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC: 'If you fall out of that swing and break your neck,you're not going to the store with me.'
6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT: 'Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident.'
7. My mother taught me IRONY: 'Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about.'
8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS: 'Shut your mouth and eat your supper.'
9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM: 'Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!'
10. My mother taught me about STAMINA: 'You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone.'
11. My mother taught me about WEATHER: 'This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it.'
12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY: 'If I told you once, I've told you a million times.Don't exaggerate!'
13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE: 'I brought you into this world, and I can take yo out.'
14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION: 'Stop acting like your father!'
15. My mother taught me about ENVY: 'There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do.'
16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION: 'Just wait until we get home.'
17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING: 'You are going to get it when you get home!'
18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE: 'If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way.'
19. My mother taught me ESP: 'Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?'
20. My mother taught me HUMOR: 'When that lawn mower cuts off your foot, don't come running to me.'
21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT: 'If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up.'
22. My mother taught me GENETICS: 'You're just like your father.'
23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS: 'Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?'
24. My mother taught me WISDOM: 'When you get to be my age, you'll understand.'
25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE : 'One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you.'
Tuesday, September 02, 2008
Monday, September 01, 2008
Sunday, August 31, 2008
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